Blast From The Past: My First Race Report

Going through my closet I found a pad of paper with a hand-written journal entry from 2005 about the 206 mile Seattle to Portland Bike Race. I’ve apparently been writing race reports since I was 15 years old! I typed it out as true to the original as possible, keeping all of the embarrassing idiosyncrasies for your viewing pleasure. Places where I’ve included present day commentary will be [bracketed in green]. Enjoy!

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First Race Report

Seattle – – – – – – S.T.P. – – – – – – Portland

The madness of it all started out with 1 simple question – “Who wants to go on the STP with Chelsie?” I only begged like every single person I know & the answers were all the same… “Um… no.”

Then Super Mom came to the rescue – a little late – but it was definitely fashionable! We knew the training would be much more grueling for her this year – seeing as she didn’t train at all last year.

After what seemed like hours of huffing, puffing, sweating & complaining we made it up our driveway. A little ibuprofen & we were back on the road.  While we were training, I found out Mom hated going up hills & with a passion. I was surprised that at the top of a hill, I did not see a look of relief (As I do) but of devestation. I asked why & found out she hated going down hills almost as much as she hated going up ’em! What a bizarre woman – eh? She roder her brakes down almost every hill – I’m surprised her tires haven’t melted!

We finally worked are [sic] way up to 65 miles (yes, mom, I rounded) & were rearing to go…. to bed!

I didn’t have to worry too much about Mom’s weird eating habits – she’d always end up getting her full quota of protein (bugs)! I don’t know how Mom did it – I’d be hungry after an hour of bikeriding (even with my 1,000 calorie breakfast) & she’d eat like one banana for an entire bike ride. Then, after the bike ride, right before bed time – she’ll eat enough for the both of us!

And now I shall begin the saga of the 2005 Cascade Bicycle Classic Seattle to Portland Bike Ride or the CBCStPB (or for short – the StP!). This 204 mile journey features rolling hills, beautiful valleys, lush forests, and 8,499 people in spandex! I’ll start from the beginning – actually, I don’t know how to spell that [I still don’t]I’ll start from the start. At the UW we met with Albert, all decked out in spandex (I never would have guessed!). He rode with us for the 1rst 24 miles until breakfast & we were too slow for him so he linked on with another group.

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15 year old me!

O.K. Rewind. Seattle was really pretty but not like last year – it was a bit cloudy and there weren’t like 2.3 bazillion boats on the harbor (like the year before). I was hungry at mile 5. I remembered alot more than I remembered I remembered. You know? Steep hill @ mile 10. Albert took a potty break, caught up w/us, & kept goin’. Breakfast was a tortilla & an Odwalla – I was still hungry of course! Oh, yeah & Albert & I raced a few times (up hills) which warmed me up & got my heart rate to about 212 bpm. It was fun though! We kept trudging on ’till lunch which was ALOT O’ FRUIT! We had perfect weather, not too hot, not too cold! We had a few short stops for relieving the bladder, picking the wedgies & for drinking dihydrogen monoxide. Right before lunch, at mile 42 (or something) was “The Hill” (scary music). I told mom if she made it up all the way w/out stopping I’d give her a back rub. Yes folks, she made it. She was sweating like a pig (which is really an oxi moron but whatever) but she made it! 

I got a headache from the glare & wind & a little drugs took care of that  [ibuprofen]My knees hurt but that was it. I got a few comments on my knee-high socks – comments not compliments. Well… they liked ’em! I stood out like a sore thumb with my socks and my spandex-less bottom. Oh, well. We stopped & got pizza realizing that Dad wasn’t ‘gonna feed us. I’m ‘gonna stop for a moment of silence for that pizza – it was really really good.       (silence)      Right before we ate the pizza, Mom ate her plum & a bag of nuts. What a nutcase!


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Just about 5 minutes from Tenino – something tragic happened – Mom’s back tire popped. Poor Mom!, She was so sad! I think she thought she ruined it for us. We found out how biker illiterate we were when we didn’t know what size tires we had, what size tubes we had, or even what kind of bike she had! One of the STP helper trucks saw us & stopped. The driver was German & if she weren’t so nice, I would’ve felt like we were in a concentration camp. She was like “I will get in zer and you give me ze bike. Lift ze bike. Zatz it.” It was funny! We got a tire on at Tenino making up for lost time in the truck. We only lost a few minutes, maybe 5 or 10. We got back on our bikes until we got to Centralia – good thing too – they gave us free Creamsickles! We were gonna eat w/dad but decided “Why wait” & kept going ’till Napavine. It smelled really bad like cow caca for a while but we managed! We finally got to Napavine 13 miles & one really long hill later! It felt great. My knees didn’t hurt any worse & I wasn’t sore. Mom was a wee bit pooped but can you blame her? We went almost 50 miles more than she ever had before!

We jumped in the hot tub after another meal – it was a good one! Hannah, Danno, & I walked to get firewood & guess who carried it back? Yes, I did! Lazy bums! Well, we played cards & then got some ZZZ’s.

The next morning we got up & went & it started img_0964and then it started RAINING. Oh, no! I was sporting my new STP Jersey and sweatpants pulled up Michael Jackson style on the right side [so it wouldn’t get caught in the bike chain]I got some comments on that too! One guy asked “Is that Prince or Blood?” and I said, “It’s Michael Jackson!” Another guy wuz like, “Is that the new style?” & etcedera. It wuz cold. It was wet. It felt like we wet ourselves. I don’t think we stopped for breakfast it was too cold. We did stop at Castle Rock for a while though – to chow of course! I had a big mat of dirt and mud in my ponytail – yuk! Going to the bathroom was not cool with all those wet layers! We were both glad we shaved off the extra 13 miles! Definitely more hills the 2nd day. Mom actually started appreciating downhills and didn’t use her brakes! It was pouring and really windy and though I wasn’t sore I was happy to get off my bike at Taco Bell. After the bridge & 20 boring miles – you could say I was excited to get off my bike. 

There was a “concert” & signs promoting it. I was thinking like along the lines of Beethoven or Back. I was wrong. There were punkers everwhere. Most of ’em had black hair, if not black – pink or green or some crazy color. They all had like 2,000 piercings (that we could see). They all glared at us. There was a whole string of cars of them. It was scary! At Taco Bell some punks came in & they were crazy! One girl had pink all around her eyes & then dark black. One guy had hair combed to the side & pokey in the back. They were all weird! One guy tried to go in the woman’s bathroom! I was like – yeah, this is definitely not classical music!

Well.. After that little scare we got going… in the rain. It was long. A very long 30 or 29 miles (whatever). A steep hill in Portland caught a lot of people off gaurd including Mom (who stopped but then got back on!). 3 miles from the end I hit some R&R tracks wrong a popped my front tire. Mom was like “We are not stopping – you are riding”. So I did. Some people were like, “You know you have a flat tire?” I was like “Duh!” Actually I was a little more polite. Some man was like I’ll fix your tire and I said, “No that’s O.K.” & he goes “God Bless you!” Ha Ha. The last 3 miles pooped me out. Mom was happy we were both the same tiredness 🙂 We were ecstatic. No spoilization from the fam fam this time though!

Well… that was one of the best B-day presents ever!

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